Sweet Release
by Alis Volat Propris
Summary: Oneshot: “Damn it Sasuke.” Naruto said, hate giving way to his raw pain at loosing his friend. “Let her go.” He murmured.


AN: I own nothing. I've never written anything for Naruto before, but I love the Naru Saku pairing. Especially with what's been going on in the manga. Sasu Saku is alright which is why I catered to them in this fic, but my fav is definitely Naruto and Sakura. So be kind because this is my first Naruto fic and Please enjoy.

PS. If you're wondering why naruto's hokage while tsunade is still alive remember that the third was still alive while the 4th was, and when the 4th died the third resumed control over konoha. Thanks.

Naruto walked his way down the very familiar path, his mood shifting from it's normal cheerful spirit to something more melancholy. Sky blue eyes darkened, mood anxious and fighting the restlessness he felt. He meandered down the path coolly, evading his flighty feelings atleast from an outsiders view. It wouldn't do any good to look anxious, so Naruto focused on something else. The path. It felt like he knew every bump and rock in the well worn path, shared a close tie with it. In his hands he bore flowers, which wasn't uncommon. The path was very familiar as well as the routine. As always, Naruto was forced to bear his own realization that someday he would rest at his end destination and also that he had in turn caused many a ceremony to occur. It was always a very humbling and enlightening experience.

As it was he had visited many a person there and held many a ceremony on it's grounds. It had been a part of his childhood and had continued into his adulthood. It was part of a cycle, albeit an unpleasant part, but still a part of it none the less. The sun was making its descent in the sky, fierce orange and blue colors painting the scene before him majestically as if in tribute. He'd finished up in the office, frustrated by his distracting thoughts and made his way to the object of his frustration. The 6th Hokage strode with determination into the cemetery, more specifically to a headstone; or rather the headstone.

He entered the cemetery obviously uncomfortable. His mask of hope and determination fell. No longer did he fight the physical effects of his feelings. He had no need to mask his anxiety, had no one to hide from here. In his cool mask's place, hard lines of bitterness and anger made their way to the surface as well as a profound depth of sorrow. His eyes were dark, mirroring the setting sun, black lines upon his face thickening. Anger won out over the rest of his emotions, as it usually did, as it had in the past when _he'd_ been alive. He glared upon the headstone, fists clenched.

"Teme." He acknowledged the headstone before him with barely concealed rage.

He hadn't visited after the funeral, too overcome with grief for his friend, but now he couldn't hold out any longer. They had had a few conversations about this in life, but it was well past time that they discussed the subject before it was too late, even if one of them was already dead.

"Damn you." He murmured, sky blue eyes flashing red in their intensity. Red returned to blue, but his regular black round pupils were replaced with thin black slits as his eyes narrowed. It was strange, putting the emotions he'd felt for so long into words, stranger still that he found himself yelling at the headstone of his dearly departed friend.

"It wasn't enough that you left, but now, even _now_, from the grave you reach out to her." Naruto snarled at the headstone.

"You _always_ were selfish, Sasuke teme. _Always_. And I was a fool enough to let you, even helped you along the way in your selfishness. You never deserved her and that only fueled your ego and your desire. You ran away to seek power and then returned as if there wasn't a damned thing wrong." Naruto snarled.

"You abandoned her when she needed you most, and then came back and took her away from me!" Naruto was practically shaking with rage.

Naruto paused, clenching and un clenching his fists as he took a deep breath. It wouldn't do to ruin the konoha cemetery simply because the hokage was angry. He had to control his temper.

"Damn it Sasuke…" he murmured, anger turning to grief, as he fell to his knees, feeling his lungs tighten. "And I let you".

He paused, allowing the grief to wash over him. Grief of loosing his best friend, grief of loosing _her_ to _him_. Grief of being bested by his best friend in the only area he'd ever wanted to be better at. Grief of his best friend and rival, dying. And grief at the look in her eyes when he'd visited her last.

"I could've had her at any time. I could've made her mine. We were close when you left us. You knew that. And I knew that. We never were the same when you'd gone, and that made us grow strong, stronger still together as we fought to get you back. And that only increased your jealousy and selfishness. You were terrified that I would make my move and leave you with nothing after you returned. That I would get what I'd always dreamed of, both Hokage, and Sakura chan. But I also knew _her_." Naruto said, sorrow clouding his eyes.

"Don't think that it was simply for your sake Sasuke teme. I let you have her because _she_ wanted it, because she needed you so desperately." Naruto said, finally admitting what he'd long known to be the truth while the teme lived.

"So I stepped aside for you, because you needed an anchor for your soul, and she had her heart set on you. I pursued my own dream of becoming Hokage to try and distract myself and get over her while you married her." Naruto said, anger returning along with the deep empty feel of hurt churning in the pit of his stomach.

"I let you have her while you lived, Sasuke teme, but I'll be _damned_ if I let you take her with you to the grave." He said to the headstone as if Sasuke could still hear him.

He had to believe it, that somewhere the teme was listening. He had nothing left to try. She was wasting away, refusing to eat, so overcome with the loss of her husband and her grief. It was as if she couldn't hear him, his words couldn't reach her on the plane she was on. She was in a trance, and not even the old hag could do anything for her. She said that Sakura had to decide to pull through herself, that no medicine could force the spirit to move of it's own accord and that's what had been damaged. Even Ino had tried to possess her, but Sakura's body had forced her out and Ino had come out of that experience shaken and ill. Naruto hung his head in shame. He shouldn't have allowed Ino to do that. It wasn't right, but neither was letting Sakura waste away. Ino had made the decision herself and he had allowed it. Ino had to deal with her own grief at her best friend and see the hopelessness of the situation with her own eyes.

Naruto didn't know what else to do. He had tried talking to her, had gotten all of her friends talking to her, had asked her family to intervene. Nothing was working. This was all he had left to hope for. If people thought it was odd that the rokudaime was spending so much time focused on her they chalked it up to the hokage's love of the village. Those who knew him well knew it went beyond that and Naruto himself knew better. He loved Sakura chan, had always loved Sakura chan, Would always love Sakura chan and it tore him up to see her like this. To Naruto, there was no likely theory left to explain it. Her trance had to be caused by Sasuke. Or if it wasn't caused by him, he was the only one that could pull her out of it. By seeking Sasuke's headstone, by speaking his meager words perhaps Sasuke's spirit would be moved to act for his wife. Or maybe it was the aftermath of Sasuke's spirit still trying to hold on to what he'd had. That was the way it seemed to Naruto anyways. As if Sasuke was holding onto her from the spiritual realms, but then he'd known Sasuke probably better than most and knew the depths of his selfishness as he'd known his own.

His own selfishness….he considered the green eyes so lifeless and dull replaying over and over again in his thoughts. His fists clenched and his eyes lit again with barely concealed rage. Call it selfish, but Naruto didn't want them both to be together in the after life. No, that wasn't it….he didn't want Sasuke's death to force her own in some sort of twisted seppuku ideal. They were ninja but she owed Sasuke nothing. She was still alive, damn it, and while she was still alive and Sasuke gone, the hope he had kindled that they might, one day, be together, had ignited with a vengeance. He wanted her to learn to love again, to heal her, and for her to love him as he loved her, as he'd always loved her.

He had catered to Sasuke while he lived. He had let them have their love. Now it was his turn, damn it. He wouldn't give in. Not this time. Sasuke could wait for her when she died, until then Naruto wanted to try his hand at capturing her heart. If Sasuke wasn't happy with this, then they could fight it over in the afterlife, if need be, or maybe even share at that point seeing as how he probably wouldn't be jealous anymore once he was dead. But Naruto wouldn't allow Sasuke to take Sakura's life without a fight. Not while both of them still breathed life.

This sounded supremely selfish. Perhaps it was. But Sasuke had always been like a brother to him. They were kindred spirits. And with brotherly love came the deep jealousy that lurked beneath it. There was nothing too big or too small that Naruto wouldn't have given up for him….except maybe her. It was said that jealousy could drive one mad. Naruto could testify to it, had nearly succumbed to it. Perhaps it was his own selfishness, his own desire to be Hokage _and_ have her at his side that fueled his jealousy. His own pain at having to give up one, for the other, and still feeling hollow after achieving such success.

In any case, he had allowed Sasuke to take her because she wanted it and then Naruto had distanced himself from her. He had hurt Sakura by distancing himself but Naruto had consoled himself with knowing their happiness together with each other. He also didn't want to be in the way, to entertain thoughts of temptation. He couldn't do that to either Sasuke or Sakura. He still talked to Sasuke, still pretended like everything was alright as he assigned missions and poured himself into the leaf village and the work that needed to be done. Still he couldn't bear the sight of the two of them together, of what he had willingly given up, even if it was because she had wanted it, even if he'd willingly allowed it. He had attended the wedding, seen that beautiful smile and those green eyes, bright and overflowing with happiness. And it had nearly ripped him in two. But then did she ever really see Sasuke for who he was? Could she see the selfishness he exuded? The pride, and the arrogance that lay beneath the surface? Had she ever been disappointed in the teme? Did he measure up to her expectations? Naruto pushed those thoughts aside. They did nothing to help or relieve the situation.

"Damn it Sasuke." Naruto said, hate giving way to his raw pain at loosing his friend.

"Let her go." He murmured, tears burning his eyes as he knelt by the grave, placing the flowers by the headstone.

"Please Sasuke kun." He murmured with sincerity as he bowed.

It was then that he heard the soft rustle of the grass behind him. Turning, startled and embarrassed to be sneaked up on; he wondered what skilled opponent had come upon him here of all places and how he could possibly fight them without dishonoring the dead and destroying the cemetery. One look and his thoughts were scattered to the four winds along with all of his battle techniques. His swallowed convulsively, mouth suddenly hot and dry as his hands forming symbols fell limply at his sides.

Standing in front of him, was one green eyed tenshi. Lines of grief and despair had etched their way into those green eyes leaving their traces of sorrow, and adding age to her youthful face, but the light in those eyes spoke of hope not of a trancelike state or some foul kind of depression. It was the kind of hope he used to see when he'd made those ridiculous justice speeches in his youth. It was the same light, the same strength of belief and conviction when he'd made her the promise of a lifetime to get Sasuke back for her. The Sakura who stood before him was so familiar, and yet foreign because of the circumstances surrounding his death.

Looking up at her, Naruto, the 6th Hokage who was typically so calm and formal, reserved and soft spoken, as he'd learned to be in official manners and ceremonies reverted back to his childhood self. A blush stained his cheeks and he tore his gaze from her.

"Sa-Sakura chan" He managed to stutter out, voice high and tight, thoughts loosing all coherent sense as he stumbled to his feet.

"Naruto kun" She said, eyes glowing with inner mirth. The pregnant silence stretched between them and Naruto felt even more awkward than he did before.

"W-what are you doing here Sakura chan…shouldn't you be inside?" Naruto said, wishing he didn't feel like such a fool. He tried to force the flush out of his cheeks, tried to get himself under control. Why did she always make him feel this? So completely inadequate! He was the rokudaime now for pete sakes!

She simply smiled light shinning brighter in those beautiful eyes. Naruto quelmed his thoughts.

"But I thought you were ill-" He stammered, and then got lost in those emerald depths again.

She giggled, hand covering her mouth as she stared at her longtime friend. He was so adorably boyish at this moment, exactly how she remembered him from so long ago.

"Sa-Sakura Chan?" He murmured, unsure of what else to say or do as his eyes moved from her own to the ground and back again.

Terror begged him to run, to run far away from those dangerous eyes that mesmerized him holding him captive against his will. That very same terror kept him locked in place, paralyzed, unable to move.

"I heard what you said, Naruto kun." She said, smiling softly.

Naruto visibly paled. She had been there when he'd spoken those words to Sasuke's tombstone.

"I-" He faltered.

"No" she interrupted him, palm up. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You see I came here to apologize to you." She said, her turn to avert her eyes as she felt a flush creeping into her cheeks. Naruto's mouth was wide open as he stared in shock his brain trying to register her words.

"What on earth could you possibly have to apologize for Sakura chan?" He asked, in wonder.

"Can we go somewhere" She said. "To talk?" She prompted.

"Of course. How stupid of me" He said smacking his palm to his forehead and striding forward, all boyishness gone and the seriousness of the Hokage returning. He offered his arm to her and she took it graciously. Naruto, the 6th Hokage led the way back to his office, keeping them both concealed to avoid recognition. Her arms were so small and thin…

"A lot of effort for a simple talk isn't this?" Sakura teased.

"Apparently I draw a lot of attention now" He grumbled, the sour look on his face causing Sakura to laugh again.

"As if you didn't before" She teased "Then there's the fact that you refuse to wear the hokage robes and hat insist on that Blue and orange trench coat…"Sakura replied.

"The robes are ridiculous and just as inconspicuous as this! And the hat makes me look weird! Why should I wear them unless I absolutely have to? Besides they remind me too much the third anyways" Naruto replied.

Sakura smiled. "The third was a good man."

"He was alright. I'm still gonna be the best hokage ever! Believe it" Naruto replied, flashing his trademark smile and thumbs up.

"I believe it." Sakura replied, glad that he was still himself beneath all the formality and responsibility. He had grown so much.

He gave her the smile he reserved for her, and continued on. Sakura glanced at Naruto beneath veiled lashes. He was so tall now, having abandoned his small jacket for a full length trench, settling for a black shirt and the typical green pants and bandaged leg worn by most of the men in konoha. He still wore the sandles, a fact that never seemed to change. His hair was still that same golden blonde and ridiculously unkempt. He resembled the 4th with his forehead protector on, but his hair was more maintained. His blue eyes held a clarity and a depth of wisdom she'd never seen before…but held also his youth and smile. She treasured the look for only she got the chance to see his youthfulness anymore. He kept everyone else at a distance now, but her. She was grateful for this, because he'd shut her out with the rest of them after her marriage to Sasuke, She was afraid he would shut her out forever, abandon her as everyone else had, and leave her behind once again. Of all things, Sakura never wanted to be left alone. To never be abandoned by her comrades.

Before her eyes stood Uzumaki Naruto, the man, not the boy, the 6th Hokage of the hidden leaf village. He had grown up into a very powerful, responsible and attractive man. When had she missed it? She laughed at herself. She'd been so lost in her thoughts she hadn't noticed they'd stopped. They arrived on the grounds and he released his chakra seal, grabbing her hand and leading her down the hallway. He opened the door to his office, and Sakura had a seat on one of the couches he kept. Naruto liked to have staff meetings on the couches as opposed to his office desk. He liked the laid back feel of it. It certainly added a depth of family feel and comfort to the surroundings. He reserved his desk for formality or discipline. The youngsters of the village had come to fear him and his discipline when he sat in that desk chair.

Sakura sat, fidgeting on the couch with her pant leg as she realized she would have to tell him now what had transpired. He sat down backwards in a regular wooden chair, straddling the back as he slouched, resting his head on his folded arms on the back of the chair. Blue eyes were focused, and intent on her as he waited, smiling softly so he wouldn't appear angry or irritated. However by the fiddling of his fingers and his tapping foot she knew he was anxious. He hadn't even bothered to conceal his anxiety from her.

She sighed and took a breath summoning up her courage.

"So how did you know I was at the grave?" Naruto asked her, eyes never leaving hers.

"I just knew you'd be there" She said simply.

"There's obviously more to it than that" Naruto replied with a sardonic smile.

"Aah." She nodded. He silence stretched on. Naruto shifted.

"You don't have to tell me if you're uncomfortable.." He began, as he was about to rise to his feet.

"No! I want to tell you…I just don't know if you'll believe me is all" Sakura replied, hand waving.

"Sakura Chan…it's you. I'll believe it." He said in an unarguable hokage like tone. Sakura paused. Naruto always had such faith in her. She sighed and pulled herself together. She owed him an explanation, after all.

"Well…you know how I wasn't speaking or talking to anyone after… his funeral?" Sakura said.

"Your trance like state?" Naruto prompted.

"Yes….well…it was like when I got home from the funeral, I- um… fell into myself…that's the only way I can think of to describe the experience. It felt like I was missing and I couldn't find myself anywhere. Haha…this is rather embarrassing. I've er…always um-…talked to myself."

"Talked to yourself?" Naruto asked, eyeing her speculatively.

"Um- yes…but…in my head…there's been this inner Sakura…this other person of me…that's kept me grounded…and kept me from giving up…um…maybe the better description is that inner Sakura is like my fighting spirit" Sakura said, blushing from having to actually explain this all out loud.

"That makes sense. It's your inner self that pushes you onward." Naruto said understandingly. Sakura stared at him dumbfounded. He understood, so clearly…She'd been half afraid he'd laugh at her.

"Yea, well it was like she disappeared after Sasuke's death" She said, forcing herself to say it. Sasuke was dead. It was fact.

"Go on" Naruto said, nodding, as he listened. Since when had he become such a good listener? She had always remembered the Naruto who interrupted everything she said and was loud and obnoxious.

"Well it's like I withdrew into myself…and she wasn't there. I couldn't find her anywhere. It was all empty and I was all alone. I couldn't force myself to do anything. So I had to go and look for her."

"Hmm.." Naruto said thoughtfully.

"Well I found her…but with her…"She stopped, faltering, tears welling up in her eyes. Naruto was about to get up, but Sakura coughed to clear her throat and wiped her eyes.

"I found her with Sasuke kun…"

"Inside yourself?" Naruto asked.

"Yea…I know this all sounds crazy Hokage sama….please don't lock me up or something" Sakura said stumbling over her words trying to laugh it off.

"Sakura chan…with me and you, it's just Naruto…it gets weird when you call me Hokage. And you're not crazy…but then again you're talking to a guy who's had the Kyuubi for company up here these past 18 years" Naruto said tapping his forehead. "It's alright. I get you" he said warmly, offering her a smile.

(AN: the Kyuubi started speaking to him when he was younger in one of the episodes so I'm basing that number off of that, putting naruto anywhere from 28 years + depending on the age)

Sakura flushed and averted her eyes. Apparently along with being able to use the Kyuubi's powers, Naruto talked to it…she had never known that.

Feeling a bit silly, she continued. "Well…um- inner Sakura, my fighting spirit was crying…"

Naruto nodded, listening intently as he waited for her to continue. His look made her flush again and Sakura fought to regain her thoughts.

"And I didn't know what to do. Inner Sakura had never cried before…she was always the one who motivated me in a sense. And so I held her. It sounds strange I know…hugging yourself, but it was nice…it was like I had always used her strength and this time I was able to offer her mine. And so we sat…and that's why I couldn't hear any of you. When you sent Ino in…she was forced out because there was only me and her there. I didn't realize how selfish I was…" Sakura said, looking at her palms.

"Sakura.." Naruto began.

"No let me finish…As we sat there holding each other…Suddenly Inner Sakura disappeared. And I was scared again…I thought I'd been abandoned again. But then Sasuke appeared."

"Sasuke?" Naruto said, eyes widening.

"Mmm…" She replied, obviously uncomfortable.

"What did he say?" Naruto asked, blue eyes wide and intense.

"…." Sakura couldn't meet his gaze.

"I'm sorry Sakura chan…I didn't mean to press you…whatever was said is between you and Sasuke kun." Naruto said, cursing himself for his insensitivity.

"He told me I was weak. He told me that I was still looking at his back and that I'd never surpass him or you this way." Sakura said softly, fist clenched.

"Surpass me?" Naruto asked, frowning.

"Naruto, I have always wanted you and Sasuke kun to look at my back. To be strong enough to protect you both. For as long as I can remember it was like that…until he died, that is-" Sakura choked again.

"Sakura chan-"

"He told me I wasn't acting like a ninja; that I wasn't being true to my way of the ninja. He told me that I was selfish and looking out only for myself." She continued, eyes jade as they burned in anger.

"He told me I had to return or I would join him…He didn't want that." Jade flames smoldered, leaving the cool jade orbs Naruto knew so well, in their place.

"He said it wasn't my time. He told me that my death would make everyone sad. Would make you sad" She faltered, green eyes filled with tears as she looked at him. Naruto wanted more than anything in the world to say something…but he knew she needed to continue.

"I asked him why" Sakura continued, smiling softly as she kneaded her palm with her fingers.

"But he didn't answer that question. He only said that you were waiting, and that he would be waiting, but that I had to return. I refused of course. I wanted to stay with him, to be with him, to finally rest. He….I don't even know how to describe it. He pushed me back to this plane." Sakura said. Naruto waited, hanging on her every word. She paused, tears overcoming her.

"I woke up, starving and ate and ate and ate. Then it just clicked. I just knew that I had to go to the grave…and then I heard you" Sakura finished, trailing off.

Sakura wasn't the same person he'd known when she had gotten married. Then she'd been healthy and full figured. Now she was bone thin from not eating and a little more forlorn. But her eyes…her eyes spoke volumes of peace and depth. Naruto knew with that gaze that she would recover. But she had heard him at the grave….

"Sakura chan, I am so sorry you had to hear that…" He said, getting up and turning from her, unable to look at those green eyes. Unable to bear the disappointment they must hold for him. "I didn't mean it…"

"Naruto…You meant every word." Sakura replied calmly. Naruto whirled, blue eyes wide.

"Sakura-" Naruto faltered, voice tinged with grief and panic.

"No, Naruto kun. You don't have to regret what you said. It's one of your charms, you know. That you really mean what you say. But the reason I came here for was that I need to apologize…for letting you down" Sakura said, grabbing his arm, as tears began to form in her eyes.

"Sakura chan?" Naruto asked, startled.

"Sasuke was right, Naruto. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough…and I nearly gave up because of it…" She said, tears streaming down her face as she cried and hung her head in shame.

"Can you ever forgive m-"

Suddenly she was enveloped into strong arms that held her tight. The smell of konoha, of the trees and the dirt and the outdoors, filled her nostrils, and she wrapped her hands in the fabric of his jacket, clinging close to that comforting smell and the warmth of his presence. His warmth, the warmth he'd always freely offered to her dried her tears.

"I don't understand how someone as smart as you could be so blind." Naruto told her, shocking her. "Sakura…don't you see? You are still alive…that in and of itself is proof that you're strong. You're still breathing. Your hearts still beating" Naruto murmured softly.

Sakura looked up at him and wasn't prepared for what she saw. His voice was raw with emotion, eyes overflowing with love for her by his tears and his smile was warm and soft.

"I'm so glad you're back" He murmured, hugging her tight. Sakura, startled for a moment, relaxed in his comfortable grip.

"Chhee. You never cease to amaze me Naruto. You're not mad at me for anything?" Sakura asked timidly.

"Mad at you? How could I be mad?….Kami sama! If anything I didn't know what to do with myself! I was just worried about you Sakura Chan…if anything I_-… I missed you_…so much" He choked out, hugging her close.

"Naruto…" She murmured. They stood there holding each other comfortably. Finally Naruto released her from his hug only to grab her two shoulders. Blue eyes forced her green ones to look up at him.

"Sakura san, Welcome back." He said, drying his tears and hers.

Sakura closed her eyes savoring the warmth he offered her. She looked up at him and paused for a moment, considering her words as those blue eyes tugged at the corners of her smile. Then those green eyes lit again with the light from her smile she'd stolen from him.

"Tadaima." She murmured in reply.

Owari

(AN: tenshi means angel. Tadaima means I'm home)


End file.
